Whenever I would try to exercise the boys would inevitably wakeup and come down the hall with wet saggy diapers, sleepy eyes and/or hungry bellies.
There are 14 posts published under self-care.
I just spent 5 days at a Trappist Monastery in prayer, silence and meditation.
Why? Because in 7 weeks I will have a significant birthday. This age is bringing on some changes in my body and health.
Why? Because in 7 years my last child will be leaving home and we will be empty-nesters after 30(!) years as parents with a houseful of children. This will cause a major shift in my marriage and my career!
Why? Because I have a lot going on in my life, in my household and in my HEAD!
So stepping away and moving to the other side of Silence is-was MANDATORY!
Caring for your Soul is what I call it. As moms, wives & leaders, we spend a lot of time taking care of everyone else. Making sure they are fed, warm, entertained, healthy, happy, sexually satisfied, learning, engaged, trained, etc., etc. Then we’ll try to pull away to have some ME time; where you take a bubble bath with candles or sleep in a bit later. But what about caring for your Soul?
You care for your family’s soul? You pray for them, get them ready for church, look for teachable moments, have spiritual discussions. How do you care for your Soul? You know, that part of you that is the middle gound between God and your Mind.
Yeah, I know you have prayer time. But that’s more DOING and although that may be satisfying it’s still not enough.
Well, let me speak for myself; after a certain amount of time that’s not enough for ME.
Before marriage and children, I would go to a hotel and lock myself in for 2-3 days at least 4-5 times a year. It was refreshing.
After marriage and children those times became less and less frequent.
The last time I got away for silence and solitude was 10yrs ago. My daughter was 4 months
old and I had just had surgery. My mother was visiting to care for me, so you can imagine the GUILT that I felt when my girlfriend said, “Come stay with me at Beauford Island.” Yet, I couldn’t resist. With my mother’s and husband’s approval for 3 days someone else fed me. I didn’t have to get up to take care of anyone. I didn’t have to wake up at a particular time. I didn’t have to oversee the clean-up. I didn’t have to have a conversation about ANYTHING! I laid around and read and prayed and did nothing. It was so beautiful I still get a feeling of relief just thinking about it. It has sustained me for these 10 yrs.
NOW there’s a shift that’s about to take place. It has already happened. I can feel it. My soul knows it and knows how to handle it. But my mind, my schedule, my family, has the current agenda in place and we cannot deviate from it. We have responsibilities and soccer practices and art classes and planes to catch and friends and jobs and groceries that must be purchased and cars that must be tended to and places to be and things to do! We must maintain the status quo. Right?
Well, someone in the family must go out and stand on the rooftop to watch the clouds for the coming rain. I know it’s coming. My Soul says so.
Don’t you think it’s rude when you have something important to say and the person is ignoring you, over-talking you, arguing with you, dismissing you and minimizing your message? So does your Soul.
How can you tell it’s time to care for your soul?
For me it looks and feels like this:
- My Soul has told me what to do about the upcoming transitions. But I can’t hear. I have responsibilities and soccer practices and art classes and planes to catch…
- My Soul yells the answer but it resonates in me as a mild uneasiness, an irritation, an unrest. And anyway I have responsibilities and soccer practices and art classes and planes to catch…
- My Soul is exhausted trying to yell through the noise and get my attention but that resonates in me as a feeling of detachment, a mild melancholy and a impression of being lost. Probably because I have all of these responsibilities and soccer practices and art classes and planes to catch….
Yeah it’s time to care for my Soul. To tend to it by shutting down EVERYTHING!
EVERYTHING! Homeschooling, Children, Husband, Church, Business & Me.
To care for your soul means you give it attention by:
- silencing all voices
- ceasing all activities
- curtailing all agendas
- shutting down all plans and expectations
- eliminating all stimuli
That means no tv, no cell phone, no radio, no internet, no friends. This is not the time for
business planning or goal setting. It’s not a time to catch up on blogging or writing or dieting or learning something new. You minimize all communication and human contact.
You read books that feed you spiritually.
You take walks in nature.
You sleep as needed.
You meditate when you feel led.
You pray without ceasing.
You listen always.
You allow your beloved Soul to receive the message from God and bring it directly to your conscious mind. You trust your Beloved and wait on it to speak.
Don’t you hate it when you have something important to say and the person is ignoring you, over-talking you, arguing with you, dismissing you and minimizing your message? So does your Soul.
Is it time to care for your Soul?
It’s ok to stay in a marriage for the sake of the children.
your behavior, attitude, parenting- ripples out and affects people and THEY affect others. We are all connected.
You don’t have to defend yourself or email me telling me how wonderful you are as a mother and how much quality time you spend with your children. I’m not judging. We are all doing the best that we can where we are. Including me. So I PROMISE I’m not judging you and I BEG of you not to judge me.
Besides I speak to (literally) 100s of corporate women ever month who are sent to my training to be better managers and executives. They talk to me in private “coaching” sessions and cry to me about how much they love their jobs and yet they are not happy about what’s going on in their homes. I understand their struggle without judgement them and I tell them to do “what you must in order to protect and guide your children”. YOU will be better off for it in the long run.
If you must:
- Quit your job (after you find another).
- Cut down on your hours.
- Ask for a demotion.
- Go to an hourly wage instead of a salary where you are REQUIRED to work until it’s done.
- Ask to be transferred to a different city where the cost of living may be cheaper and life is slower.
- Downsize your living expenses so that you are not feeling powerless over money.
- If you are a single parent, move in with your parents.Teach you children how to respect the grandparents’ house of course, but this can save you hundreds of dollars a month.
- Start a business on the side with the plans to quit your job!
I beg of you, who have been given charge over the Souls of little ones to RAISE YOUR CHILDREN. Stop letting the video games and TV and friends and cell phones take over the minds and hearts of your children because you are too tired or busy. If I see another 6yr with a cell phone I’m going to…I don’t know what I’m going to do!! But how ridiculous is it to put the whole sick, perverted WORLD into the hands of a child? Are these parents even THINKING!? NO they are following!
Mommies you must see yourself as
- A Fighter of your children hearts.
- A Protector of their minds.
- A Preserver of their innocence.
- A Director of their moral Compass.
- An Overseer of their intellect.
- A Companion in their life journey.
- A Warrior of your home.
Yes that’s a lot and that means making some changes. When you view yourself this way-instead of one who has to work to pay the bills; when you see yourself in this light it means you will go against the grain of society that says, “relax, they’ll be okay. stop being a control freak. Anyway, have you seen Shades of Grey? It was such a love story! Did your teenager see it? OMG it was so romantic!”
The world we live in is sick. If you are too busy caught up in DaMan’s business while murmuring, “I owe, I owe so off to work I go.” you are creating problems for your children today that will multiply themselves for you tomorrow. People will say the children are ok and well-adjusted because they’ve learned to sit still in classrooms, bottled up the twisted perverted images they are getting from technology and stifle their need for you because they know you “have to” go to work and you’re “too tired”. And honestly, you can sat that is well-adjusted in a sick society.
Don’t try to create well-adjusted kids. Don’t you try to be “well-adjusted” either. Stop following the crowd and do what YOU know is right to do for the Souls of the ones who have been entrusted to you.
I help women set up a strategy to start a business that allows them to quit their job. If you are ready to get started then contact me. We can do a 40min complimentary coaching session where you can test me out and see if I’m a good fit for you. If so let’s get your business up and going ASAP. But I deal with woman who are serious about moving their life forward for the sake of their children. Contact me. Teishaspeaks400 at gmail.com
Run Your Own Business & Raise Your Own Children!TM