Category: self-development

There are 19 posts published under self-development.

Help Yourself!

For every day that we whine and cry about the lack of support that we haven’t received, we could be working on our businesses. To be honest, NO ONE HAS TO SUPPORT YOU. That includes parents, spouse and children. The only one responsible for supporting you and your business ideas is YOU! If you’re not supporting yourself don’t expect anyone else to do it.

How do you know when you’re not supporting yourself?

If you are:

  • unwilling to put in the time-you can say, “I’m too tired because I have the children and I have to walk the monkey and clean off the picture frames…” or “I can’t because my husband won’t paint the windows or babysit the gorilla …”, or whatever the excuse; if you are spending more time talking about that, then looking for ways around that, then you’re not supporting yourself.
  • unwilling to spend money because you’re afraid that, “the business won’t work”. Or “it will be something else that I start and don’t finish”…or whatever the excuse; if you’re afraid that it won’t work then it won’t and you can’t expect someone else to support you in an endeavour that you are afraid to support.

“Whatever shall I do Lady T?”

I’ll gladly tell you. You have two options:

  1. Be honest with yourself about your fears and doubts and then GET TO WORK.

OR

2. Be honest with yourself about your fears and doubts and step away from the business until you have dealt with your fears and doubts.

If you need help with either one then feel free to email me LadyT@TheBusinessCoachforMoms.com.

Grow Some Balls Mommy!

You’re at home all day with your babies. You feed them. You serve them. You kiss their boo-boos. You’re letting your $120,000 college degree lie dormant because you want to be a great stay-at-home mom! So why the guilt when you need to leave the house for a few hours to work on your business?

I don’t know! Is it genetically embedded into our female bodies? My husband never feels remorse when he has to leave. Somedays he doesn’t even say good-bye. He just runs!

He NEVER lingers around for another round of kisses and hugs. He NEVER stops at the door and comes back to check and see if he should change a diaper. He would NEVER, EVER, EVER, put on his clothes, gather his lap top, and after taking one last look at the sad faces, and the messy room decide it’s just easier to stay home!

Why do we do that?!
I don’t know; but I do know that I’ve decided to get me some balls!
That’s right. I’m going to act like a man and go to work when I need to go to work!

To All Mommy Entrepreneurs: Your business is just as important as the man’s job!
Why?
Because you’re growing and developing as a human being and as a woman. And every man will tell you that’s sexy.
Because you’re contributing to the family’s finances, even if it’s barely $5 a month, it will grow if you stick to it and continue to learn. Anyway, your business creates a lot of tax deductibles for the family.
Because you’re teaching the observing children entrepreneurial skills.
Because you’re building a family leagacy.

Now let go of the guilt, get some balls and go to work!

How To Overcome Procrastination

Before we overcome procrastination we have to understand what’s going on in our subconcious thoughts. This does not require therapy or dream analysis; just the willingness to
#1 listen, #2 be honest with ourselves and #3 make a decision.

#1 Listen: Simply ask yourself the question: Why am I procrastinating on this? Very simple but we don’t always reflect on the simple. We usually entertain condemning conversations with ourselves: “I’m always procrastinating!” “Im just lazy!” “Why am I so stupid!” “Why can’t I just do it?!” “I hate procrastinators and now I’m doing it!”

I see this as a little Condemning Demon on my back trying to distract me from enjoying life. I get him off by not resisting him with arguments to defend myself.

The issue is, “Why am I procrastinating on THIS?” Sit still to listen. Negative, self-condemning statements will come to your mind. Don’t resist them. Continue sitting and wait for the truth to come forth.

So you’ll ask the question and you’ll hear an angry respose like, “because you’re lazy!” to which you’ll respond, “maybe, but why am I procrastinating on THIS?”

“because I’m just a procrastinator, I’ve always been….” interrupt the thought with a loving, accepting, “maybe, but why am I procrastinating on THIS?”

Continue asking the question with love and acceptance; with the object of procrastination at the center of the question and not yourself until the little condemning demon quiets down and the truth comes forth.
#2 Then, you must be willing to be honest with yourself. There are many reasons for procrastinating and you have to decide what you’re going to do when the answer comes forth.

SOME REASONS FOR PROCRASTINATION
internal fears and doubts
lost hope that things will work out or change
overwhelmed with other responsibilites
don’t want to accept the responsibilites that will result
just don’t want to do it
When faced with the truth be willing to deal with it.
#3 Make a decision, “I’m going to move on despite my fears.” or “This will be a fear that I will allow to control me.” When you make a decision you get to the real issue and halt the Condemning Demon regarding procrasination. If “I just don’t want to do it.” is the real reason, then decide, “I don’t want to and I’m not” or “Im going to delegate this to someone else.”
Either way you’ve gotten to the real issue, removed the little condemning demon from your back and you’re well on your way….or not.

How Do You Measure Success?

Success means different things to different people and if you’re not conscious in this life it is very easy to fall for someone else’s definition of “success”.

When I first started speaking and training on a national level I had the opportunity to sit under some pretty successful and popular speakers; Brain Tracey, Jack Canfield, Les Brown, Tony Robbins just to name a few. I remember once at a conference feverishly taking notes on how to “fill your appointment book with 300 speaking engagments per year.” Two days later, I was feeling pretty stressed about all I had to do and when I prayed it brought me to my senses: I DON’T WANT 300 SPEAKING ENGAGEMENTS PER YEAR!

I had gotten side-tracked by all of the compliments of my seminars. I had gotten enamored with the traveling and nice hotels. More than anything, I had gotten giddy about not having to constantly change diapers and pick out their little boogers. I was delirious with joy that I didn’t have to figure out what’s for dinner and try to remember if I had refilled the ice trays!

So delirious that I allowed someone else to define success for me.

I am now VERY clear on my own definition of success.

I do a lot of self-reflection. I’m constantly presenting myself (mentally) before my Creator to check my intentions, desires, and thoughts. My constant question: Am I walking in LOVE or Am I walking in FEAR in 4 areas: my relationships, my business, my children, my spiritual growth.

When one allows fear to control ones behaviors it brings  feelings of guilt, doubt, aniexty or anger….like a failure. Example behaviours: hanging on to my children because “they grow so fast” or not moving in my business;  not extending myself to people because “they’ll suck up my time”.

When one allows love to control ones behaviors it brings feelings of liberation, joy,  trust,  generousity…. like anything’s possible. Example behaviours: trying something new, letting go of an argument even though I’m right, taking time to encourage someone who’s lost hope, giving my last, doing what I believe pleases God.

For me success has nothing to do with money, a busy schedule, popularity or other external forces. I’m my only judge. I’m successful when I am operating in love. When my intentions, desires and thoughts are focused on doing right and good. When I keep vigilance on those things then business flows, relationships clear up and of course I’m growing spiritually.

How do you measure success?