work at home, women in business, resources for small business

How Should I Handle This?

There are times when I’m not feeling the love; times when I give so much I’m not trying to give anymore.

My children all have their agendas and needs. My husband, God bless him, works 10-12 hours a day in restraurant management. His first love, calling and passion is Pastoring. But since the congregation is still growing he has had to go back to the restraurant to supplement his income.

This means that I’m primarily the one who chauffers, delegates, disciplines, cooks, cleans, oversees, yells, and takes care of the house, children, garden, landscape and homeschool. (He does handle the groceries and finances.) All of this in addition to my coaching business. So on Saturdays I want to leave the home to go sit at my other office-WholeFoods-and plan my week, veg out, catch up on some work….breathe. He usually has that same plan for himself.

Most of the time our oldest son has something going on, so he’s not home to babysit and because we live away from our family we don’t have a family member to drop them off. I don’t like asking friends to babysit our 5 kids all day on a Saturday. (Yes, I’m gone ALL DAY, from noon until 8pm, when I can get away with it.)

So the question is how should we handle this? I don’t want to alternate weekends and to be honest I don’t want to compromise-which is a very RARE stance for me. So every Saturday I leave and don’t care. Am I being selfish? Leave your honest comments.

To Our Mutual Success, Lady T

  • Tawanna
    March 16, 2010 at 3:03 am

    I’ve yet to figure that out. I really like Whole Foods too lol! I’ve been told Date Nights are good for the marriage but we don’t have a baby sitter. I haven’t found one I totally trust. With the baby only being 7 months now, I’ll feel uncomfortable with leaving her with anyone. I don’t know the answer. What about going to the park letting the kids play and you and hubby enjoy time while they are in sight?!
    .-= Tawanna´s last blog ..A Photo Series =-.

    • Lady T
      March 17, 2010 at 10:37 am

      Tawanna it’s been a few months since I’ve written that post and what I’ve done is: made a habit of getting out more often. 2 days a week, early in the morning, I go to the local coffee shop, Liquid Highway. And then in the evening, once the kids are home from their extra-curricular activities, and have been fed, I’ll leave. It’s just for 2hr. 2 nights a week. So when Saturday rolls around I’m not so pressed to go, nor do I need to stay for so long.
      Thanks for the love everybody.

  • Hollye Clardy
    October 1, 2009 at 6:28 am


    That is a tough one. The best I can do is to encourage you to keep good communication open between you and your hubbie. Figure out a way that a “date” with him can occur at least once a month. Use the Sat. evening time to do something special with him, all by yourself. Pray together often. I find that really helps in my household.


  • Adrienne
    June 12, 2009 at 8:05 pm

    Oh, wow. I totally understand. Bummer that your oldest can't help. As a wife, I know tha we feel like hubby is getting time 'away' when he's at work and we're at home. But, they don't feel like that's the case. Perhaps you and hubby can split the day?

  • Brenda (BBC)
    June 8, 2009 at 5:26 pm

    No, you're not selfish — you're desperate!!!

    Your husband is a lovely man, God bless him, but I believe that the time he spends away from home working needs to be balanced with spending time AT home with his kids. Their memories of dad as adults shouldn't be mainly watching him preach on Sunday. Meanwhile, you are at home with the kids all the time, and this needs to be balanced with your getting away and being able to think and breathe and plan.

    How's that?


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