I woke up and there he was laying next to me. He had his way with me all night caressing my body, my arms, my neck, and now fully satisfied from my bodily pleasures he lay silently sleeping on my pillow.
His presence startled me. I reached out and
SQUASHED HIM TO DEATH! His flattened body left a bloody spot on the pillow case. MY BLOOD!
MY EFFING BLOOD that he stole from me while I lay sleeping!
I jumped out of bed and yanked back the sheets. How many of his friends had their way with me last night too?! How many others fondled and sucked on me during my slumber?!
I saw no others but I screamed and ran to the shower anyway! But first I shook out my clothes and hair! In a panic I ran to the phone to call downstairs to the hotel receptionist to report the murder. What I had done to him; what he had done to me!
I felt raped, violated and betrayed by the hotel! They put locks on the doors to protect me from the outsiders but they didn’t protect me from the insiders! THEIR insiders!!
I quickly showered shook out all of my belongings, had a conversation with management and checked out of my room.
There were 60 women making their way to my seminar downstairs and although I could still feel him and ALL of his friends crawling up and down my body I had to get myself together!
Have you ever had to put your emotions and feelings on the back burner so that you could tend to business?
Have you ever had to let go and release your nightmare experience to serve someone else?
It’s not an easy thing to do, and a lot of women struggle with this. On that day I was training a group of executive women on how to walk in their power and purpose. Ironically, we would be discussing how to release your exaggerated perceptions, preconceived assumptions and self-induced fears so that your life’s purpose comes through.
To walk in one’s purpose and power means you have to see your life as part of a grander plan; because when you think small you tend to make life all about you. Little o’ you. And its so easy to get offended, be taken advantage of or be a victim
in this big world when it’s just little o’ you.
It’s easy to get caught up in the drama of your own story when life is ALL ABOUT YOU.
But when you see your life on a grander scale- where there’s a God who has a plan for us all- you realize that your story is a part of a whole.
When you see life on a grander scale it means that you see yourself as a SMALL part in the plan; but a part that serves the rest therefore you are grande and important.
The Apostle Paul addressed this in ICor 12:10-25. Allow me to paraphrase-If the foot looked at itself so lowly that it should say, “I’m not the hand so I’m not important and therefore not a part of the body.” it would be a disservice to the body.
If the head looked at itself so highly that it would say to the foot, “I don’t need you foot” it would be a disservice to the body.
All parts are respectable and honorable and have their role to play in the grand scheme of the plan.
When you see life on a grander scale you recognize that you are here to serve the whole body; that means man and God. If you see yourself as more important than or less important than others; if you allow yourself to get caught up in your drama than you are not living your purpose nor walking in your God-given power.
Because I recognize that my calling is to serve by encouraging and reminding people how to live their best life, I walked away from my bedbug drama and entered the seminar room with the intention to do just that.
It would have been very easy to relive the bedbug nightmare with them; to tell them all what I had just been through; to allow my brain to exaggerate the story and be super grossed out all the day; to imagine/see the bugs throughout the day; to stay in my little o’ world. My little ol’ emotionally traumatized and physically violated world.
To live your purpose and walk in your God-given power let go of your exaggerated drama stories. Let go of your preconceived assumptions & judgments and release your fears. You will have less stress, more tolerance & less frustration.
I wonder what is the purpose of the bedbug!
BTW, here is a great interview where my guest and I discussed Purpose & Destiny.