I grew up in a family of seven surrounded by the poverty, drugs and gangs of Chicago’s inner city. Even though my father worked everyday there still wasn’t enough money. I made a point of regularly telling my stay-at-home mom, “You need to get a job and work like other women!”
I didn’t respect my mom’s antiqued ways of “honoring” my father, who wanted her to stay at home and be a housewife.
Well of course he wanted her to! He was part of the patriarchal, chauvinistic society that was trying to hold women down. He tried to calm my newly inspired feminist philosophy by explaining to me that he wanted her to stay home “to take care” of his house and his children.
That fueled me even more! The audacity to use the words “my” children when she birthed them! They came out of her body. Now he wanted to trap her in his house and deprive her of financial opportunities available in the marketplace.
And she went along with this!
I vowed I would NEVER be a stay home mom!
Fast forward– I am a mom of 5 who has stayed home since my first child was born. I’ve upped the ante by becoming an entrepreneur and homeschooling. Today I speak all over the country as a women’s empowerment speaker and encourage women to Raise Your Own Children and Run Your Own Business™.
With my first pregnancy I just couldn’t see myself sitting in traffic to take my 8 week old new born to a daycare and then sitting in traffic to go to a job; while wondering all day if I would be able to leave my job in a timely manner to anxiously sit in traffic to pick up my newborn. I decided, while pregnant, that that WASN’T the life for me.
That meant that I had to carve out something else for myself. But what? Every woman that I had ever known had lived the scenario that I just described OR they were like my mother and aunts- “housewives”.
- So I tried my hand at a network marketing business but I didn’t use the product so I felt like a hypocrite and I wasn’t successful.
- At one point I got a job working nights while my husband worked during the day: until his schedule changed and threw everything in disarray.
- A friend and I started a mobile vending business…with minimal success.
- Another friend and I started a daycare center. That worked out well until my friend…no longer was.
- I tried being a medical transcriptionist.
- And marketed myself as an assistant to local daycare providers.
However, I had my most profitable success when I planned a business around my natural gift of speaking and training.
Throughout this time I was constantly meeting other women who wanted to be home with their children but were afraid to try their hand at entrepreneurship.
I found myself encouraging them and helping them flesh out their business idea and/or a marketing plan. A couple of them followed through and had great success. But honestly, many made just enough money to satisfy their bills and not have to put their children in daycare. That was pretty miraculous for the woman who never owned a business and was dependent on paychecks from others! That brought me the greatest joy!
In the meantime, I continued as a women’s empowerment speaker and also got into corporate training. We moved to three different states, ultimately settling in South Carolina. My husband pastored a church and I had a few more babies.
Years later, once again I was helping another desperate mom plan her business; she called me her business coach. I laughed and Googled the phrase. I was stunned to discover that what I had been doing, naturally and spontaneously, for 10 YEARS was an actual industry called BUSINESS COACHING!
Prayerfully, I committed to developing this innate knack so that I could consciously AND effectively help other moms who wanted to stay home with their children, because at that point in life I totally understood the power of one parent staying home “to take care of the children.” Especially in this very fast paced, It’s-All-About-Me society.
Parents are having a difficult time keeping up with the changing philosophies, the materialism and consumerism that’s fueling greed and instant gratification; the over-sexualization of our girls (Micro-soft is telling me that’s not a real word but YOU know what I’m talking about) and the downplaying of values that’s even being perpetuated in our schools.
These fast changes require parents to be diligent, attentive and communicative DAILY. Someone has to “take care of the children”; and since I’ve never seen a father in the break room crying about leaving his newborn baby at the daycare and I’ve never heard a man in the stall next to me using a breast pump (that would really be awkward) I’ll nominated The Mommy.
Yes, years later I understand the power of my mother and father working together to pay the bills and take care of the children. It was my mother’s daily home presence that kept my siblings and me from falling prey to the mean streets of Chicago. It was my father’s faithful work ethic (going to a labor intense job for 37 years) that gave her the emotional stability to agree to “take care of his house and his children”. I love and respect my mother, who put her life on hold to give her five children a place of refuge and stability in the midst of drugs, gangs and violence.
I also understand that in today’s economy it’s difficult for parents to live on one income. Unless your salary is over $80,000 and you’ve kept debt to a bare minimal and you have less than 2.5 children, you and your spouse will struggle to find decent housing in an area with a good school. And according to the 2014 statistics by the Social Security Administration 71% of all Americans made less than $50,000 a year!
Many women are stuck in jobs that they hate and paying someone else to raise their children while barely making ends meet.
Therefore, I humbly speak about, coach, and inspire moms to Raise Your Own Children and Run Your Own Business ™.
Connect with me on my social media platforms (the more moms the better) and if you desire to start a business but aren’t sure how, feel free to email me.
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